The Story.....( a short story)

I have decided that I would like to try to write out the story of Gil's fall and all that has happened in the last week and a half. This will be long. On Monday the 23rd of February the kids and I were anxiously awaiting the arrival of my mom. Bob and I had stayed up really late the night before and cleaned the house after the kids went to bed. We had been working at home packaging CDs for our friend Jimmy's business for the entire week. He was trying to help us pay our bills until Bob finds a job. Bob and I had probably watched 15 movies that week packaging these CDs. Gil and Gwyn had pretty much moved upstairs with us while we worked on them. Bob had some business to take care of Monday morning so the kids and I were hanging out upstairs. It was rainy but still fairly warm out so we had opened the window, it gets hot upstairs. The screen was intact and I caught the kids many times looking out the window. I cautioned them a couple of times to be careful around the window. The bottom of the window hit Gil about 6 inches below the shoulders so I wasn't really worried. My mom arrived and after many loves and talking we all went to work on the CDs again. At about 4:30pm my mom, Gwyn and I went to the store to get grocery's and some new movies. We went in for movies first.

When we got back in the car my mom's cell phone rang and it was Bob. He seemed upset and asked to talk to me. "Why aren't you answering your cell phone?" I had forgotten it in the car. He told me he was on the way to the hospital....my first thought was that one of the boys got hurt in the sandbox (that's where they were playing when I left), probably Gil, and some one needed stitches. He then said that Gil had fallen out the window, of course I asked "what window?" he said "the upstairs window". I told him I would meet him at the hospital. Once I was headed in that direction and I had a moment to gather my thoughts I called him back and asked which window and what happened. Bob was packaging CDs, Gilbear was hanging out by him playing in our ginormous basket of blankets (picture above) eating California Cuties my mom had brought. Bob said he heard the blinds clanking and turned around to see the screen was still attached to the window but the bottom of the screen was hanging out. Gil was nowhere to be seen. Abe was sitting upstairs with them too. Bob didn't look out the window just dashed down the stairs and out the garage door. He found Gil in the fetal position with his face to the ground crying on our cement driveway. Bob said he was moving slightly so he picked him up and found his nose and mouth were bleeding. He ran him inside to clean him up and feel for anything broken. (my question was "why didn't you call the ambulance?" His answer was "he was moving") Gil was inconsolable and when Bob felt his head he found it misshaped and almost like a ridge going down the back of it. His eyes where definitely dilated. He knew he had to get him to the hospital. He yelled at Tuckers friends to go home and then told the boys to get in the car. He and I were going to meet in the parking lot at Smiths on Bluff. Before I reached him my phone start ringing with neighbors phone calls. They probably knew about this before me.

When I got to Bob in the parking lot my boys jumped into the car with my mom while I jumped in the back of the car to find my baby strapped in his car seat struggling to breath and moaning in agony. I unbuckled him and held him, while he cried "my back". I was a mess, Bob was on the phone calling our pediatrician. I could tell it hurt him to even have me touching him. His pants were soaked from playing outside with his brothers a little while earlier. He had dried blood on his nose and mouth and his shirt was covered in our red dirt. His head was swollen and so was his lip. I am terrible in a crisis...truly I am. I just sat and cried as I held his fragile hurting body. When we pulled up to the entrance of the ER Bob jumped out and carried him in while I parked the car. I parked 3 stalls away from the entrance and ran inside. They were nowhere to be seen. The lady showed me into the ER and when I rounded the corner I found 7 people working on my baby. Any dignity I had left was gone I was a blubbering mess. They cut off his shirt, strapped him into a papoose and braced his head and immediately began taking x-rays. They got his IV going and gave him morphine to stop the pain and his terrible moaning. My poor baby just kept asking for his silky blanket. I wrapped it around him while his daddy never left his side. Gil kept crying for him. I looked at my son and wondered if he would ever walk again? Would I ever see his little happy personality again? Would I ever hear him talk like a little boy using his silly potty talk I always get after him about? I looked at Bob and told him that this was not his fault...truly I believed that. It could have happened earlier that day while it was just the kids and myself. I was so grateful he was with him not me, he is so levelheaded and wonderful in crisis mode.

Bob and I got on the phone trying to find someone to help give him a blessing. Our home teacher worked as a pharmacist at the hospital but he had already headed home. We then called our friend who did the ultra sounds at the hospital(sorry Kurt, I don't' know what your official title is) but he was already home. I called my mom to get the number of our home teacher and my mom told me that Farmgirl and Mr. HandyMan were on there way down and should be there any minute. I cried a new set of tears for my dear friend who knew my needs even before I did.

The first set of x-rays came back and we were assured his neck would be okay. They then wheeled him down for a CT scan and other x-rays. He had been gone a few minutes when Farmgirl and Mr.HM arrived. Once they brought him back Bob gave him a beautiful blessing and we started to calm down. Pretty soon the x-ray's came back and his back and head were okay. How could that truly be? He was still in SO much pain, his moaning had begun again.

The ER doctor came in a little while later and told us this was an amazing case that nothing was broken on our child. He was having a terrible time breathing and when they would remove his oxygen he would start to crash. The Doctor told us it looked like he had A-Typical Pneumonia....from the fall? I kept asking about his pain, she kept telling me that they would give more morphine to him. Soon after that Dr. Nygaard came and thoroughly check him out. I was so grateful to have him there. They let me hold him and the good Doctor felt every single bone in his body....he was baffled that he wasn't breathing. This was not typical. He heard me when I told him his lungs sound fine earlier in the day that his rattling and crackling sounds in his chest were from the fall. Dr. Nygaard said it looked like it could be an aspiration in his right lung. He also told us that he probably had a pretty good concussion also. The CT scan showed very deep bruising in his chest, back and arms. He told us he was going to NEED pain meds for sometime.

Our bishop and his wife came down to see us and Farmgirl stayed close by, until it came time for us to be transferred to the pediatric hospital ( I know we live in a small town) when the ambulance arrived to take Gil and I in a stretcher to the other hospital. Gil perked up for a few minutes into our drive but then started the moaning again. Once we were placed in to his new room they hit him with morphine again. Farmgirl went over to my house so my mom could come down and Bob headed home for his overnight bag. There was no way he was going to let him out of his sight. My poor husband was very emotional and felt so badly about this, guilty when there was no need to feel guilty. He wouldn't call his family, he just stayed by Gil. I made a phone call to his mother and let her know. He also remembered Gil was eating a Cutie when he fell and that is what he could have aspirated. He let the nurse know to inform the Doctor.

When my mother arrived she brought Gilbears other silky blanket and his polka-dot blanket too. When he saw them he cried for them to be put on him. My mom told me that when she arrived home after she dropped me off and had picked up the boys that there was a crowd out side our home looking at our window and the cursed screen hanging half off of our house. I am so grateful my mom was there. I know my kids are in the best of care when she is with them. Farmgirl had arranged a bunch of my book group ladies whom I love dearly to come and help finish the CDs we were working on. I felt so loved. My mom stayed with me until Bob returned. He told us he couldn't even walk upstairs to think the ladies because he was so emotionally spent. I hated to leave but I knew the next day was going to be a long one and I needed to try to sleep as much as I could. Bob's old friend Jimmy just showed up just before I left and talked with Bob for a couple of hours, I am so grateful to him for that. My mom drove me home and some of my friends were still there working. I hugged them all gave and update and took some serious sleep aids. I checked on all my kids as before I went to bed there was such a void with Gil's absence. We were missing a big part of our family. I tried not to imagine my baby falling out the window as I fell asleep.


The next morning my other children all snuggled in bed with me and I answered their questions about their brother. Somehow Tucker had convinced the other two kids it was his fault this happened. He told them he was the one who opened the window all the way waiting for Nannie to come. He also told them that he should have been the one to catch him as he fell out the window. He is so tender hearted and feels the weight of the world, sometimes it's hard to be the oldest child. I told Gwyn and Abe the no one was to blame it was an accident. Tucker wanted to know how soon he could come visit? He NEEDED to see Gil. I was down to the hospital by 8:30 am after helping my mom get the boys out the door for school. Not a lot of change in Gil, he was on 1 liter of Oxygen and he was still moaning. When I came into the room he perked up and spoke a little to me. Dr. Nygaard had come by the hospital at 6 am and checked Gil out. His lungs still sounded bad and he still was crashing with out the oxygen. He ordered more X-rays and told us our regular Doctor would be in later that morning. We waited until 10 am and no doctor, we called his office and left a message. He called back and apologized profusely. Somehow he had been misinformed about us when he called the ER and they told him we had been released. He came during his lunch break. After examining Gil himself he told us what a miracle he was. He said during his residency in AZ his hospital did a study on falls. They found that after 8 feet serious damage was almost certain especially brain damage. Gil fell about 14 feet. I begged him to put him on something other than Morphine and he said we could try liquid Lortab. I could see we weren't going to be seeing any of our Gil while he was on the Morphine, he was very angry on it. Doctor Marsden also want us to try and get him walking so that his lungs would start moving, maybe get him coughing....they need him to clear the junk out of his lungs. The problem was that it hurt him so much just to breathe. Once we got him on the Lortab he started to be a little more like himself. We learned a few things.....No one touched his blankets, he hated the nurses, he wasn't going to eat, and he wanted mom or dad laying by him at all times. I loved to hear his sweet voice say "lay by me Mommy". Gwyn and Nannie came to visit before pre-school, it made Gwyn very nervous to see her side kick like that. Jen came with a dancing and singing Bunny for Gil and it was the first smile we saw since he had fallen. Farm girl showed up a little before lunch and stayed until school got out. Gil had a throwing up episode that day and he cried for a "tubby" so we got him to the bath where he cried the whole time. While he was crying he would say to us through his tears "it feels good". This was the first time we could really check out his body and see if there was any kind of bruising or cuts. We looked at his whole body and found nothing! He had a little scratch on his head but nothing on his face, hands, legs, or chest! We don't even know how that is possible. Once we got him cleaned up he fell asleep REALLY hard and slept of at least 2 hours.

When he woke up his brothers and sister were there and he was SO happy to see them. Tucker brought cards from his class. He kept trying to talk to him and get him to respond.

They all gathered around him and loved him up. He is our baby!

Gil and Abe

When I look back on this day I am amazed. Gil walked that day, he happily went with his family to the play room. He was fragile but he seemed great. I felt so good. I thought we would have no problem getting him to walk all the time....I was wrong. This day was for his siblings benefit. They needed to see him like this. Nannie is amazing! I love her and her ability to calm every situation. She was lovingly taking care of my family. Gil loves his Nannie.

My son was the only child on the pediatric unit that wasn't an RSV case. So my kids had to walk with masks on. Cute Gwynnie just wanted to be near her brother. Gil tried to eat that night but ended up throwing it all up. He slept good, so they stopped checking his eyes every two hours to see if his brain was okay. They let him sleep all night. The didn't even wake him for pain meds. I thought he was coming home. They had him breathing room air until he started to crash again. Dr. Marsden ordered more x-rays and his lungs looked worse. They wanted him walking, the sweet boy would, but cried the whole way. He was such a good sport. He was still not coughing. I left Bob to go take Gwyn to dance with my mom, we hadn't been there for more than 10 minutes when Dr. Marsden called me to let me know his X-Rays looked worse and that he really believed he had aspirated something, and pneumonia was developing in the lower left lung now too. Because St. George does not have a Pediatric Pulmonolgist we needed to be Life Flighted to Primary Childrens Hospital in SLC, Utah. He needed Rigid Bronchoscopy that only PCH could do. They were hoping to get out whatever was in his lungs. I had 30 minutes to get back to the hospital.
At first we were going to send Bob, but then I couldn't let my baby out of my sight. I couldn't imagine him going into surgery without me there. I had to go. I left my poor mother at the Dance Studio and asked my friend Sallie to bring her home. I called my boys at school and told them what was going on. I told Tucker not to stress because he was going to be fine, and this was the way they had to transport him. I don't know that it helped him much. The Secretary at school got on the phone with me and wanted some details. She said the Principal had been hoping for news on him. At that point I realized just how much I loved our little community. Everyone knew and cared about him. My mom packed up my family and probably left St. George with Bob and our kids before Gil and I did. Once the Life Flight team got there the plane had mechanical problems so we waited another hour for a new plane. Just before we loaded up on the stretcher Gil threw everything up again. The nurses hit him with an anti-nausea medication and Lortab again right before we left. We took an ambulance to the airport....Gilbert's 2nd Ambulance ride.

He was lucky enough to have Napoleon Dynamite's look a like help with his transportation.

Gil was really excited about this plane ride. He perked up like I hadn't seen him in days. He talked the whole time. He kept saying, "This is Awesome!" and when we hit turbulance"Whee"

At one point he asked me turn on some music. The plane was big enough to carry 6 people....it was very exciting. Once we landed in SLC they transported us to the hospital by Ambulance again. He was getting really sleepy again. Bob and I were talking every half hour or so and the Caravan was making good time. When I arrived at the hospital they showed us to our room on the Surgical floor and told me it wouldn't be long until the Surgeon would send for him. My sister's Kennan and Brooke showed up right after we got there. I was so grateful to see there faces. I was feeling a bit lost in this huge hospital with out Bob. Kennan has spent more time there than she would like, so she knew where everything was. My aunt Holley and cousin Rebecca (who is a nurse there) also visited us. They waited with me until it was time for the Surgery. We met the Surgeon and he explianed what would happen and that the procedure would take about 45 minutes.

Brooke and Kennan walked with us until he was taken into the operating room. At which point I started crying, and Kennan said, "let's feed you..." So we hit the cafeteria, got the food and waited until the Surgeon returned to us. Once Dr. Rawlings came out he explained that they found nothing but a lot of mucus. I asked him what our course would be now. He told me he was taking him off antibiotics, pain meds, and that he said that they would keep him over night. I was dumbfounded. I asked to see a Pulmonolgist and he told me he was his Doctor and that he didn't need a Pulmonolgist. He had a HUGE ego and I wanted to pull my hair out. He wasn't hearing me. He told me he thought he probably had RSV and that the fall had nothing to do with what was going on in his lungs. I was helpless and he wasn't about to value what I KNEW! They took me back to the recovery room where my son was still sleeping but his breathing was terrrible and his SAT's were in the upper 80's. They had increased his oxygen levels to 3 liters. I was starting to panic, this was not the same kid who was on room air 8 hours ago. I called Bob and cried my eyes out. Once we were in our room he woke up but did not improve. Bob had dropped the kids off at his his sister Amy's house. She had offered to keep the kids as long as we needed. He and my mom showed up at around 8pm. I was so tired and Bob made my mom promise to put me too bed soon while he slept by Gil. Brad and Vanessa came to visit but never made it upstairs because Vanessa had some kind of seizure down in the cafeteria. Brad left and took Vanessa to the closest hospital. Once my mom and I left we picked up Gabi (their daughter) from the hospital and delivered her home. We then met my s-i-l Amy to get Gwyn. Poor girl was really missing her mom and dad. Amy said she just kept crying, and really I could hold one of my babies about then. Once we were home and I had Gwyn sleeping and was about to do the same when Bob called.

He was so frustrated because Gil was not improving. They had upped his liters of oxygen again, they didn't have any orders for breathing treatments, there were no Respitory Therapists coming in, and they kept suctioning his nose like he had RSV. They had run an RSV test and we were not going to hear on it for 24 hours. I can honestly say that I have never really had an Anxiety attack, but at that moment I could not breathe. I have never felt so powerless as I did at that moment. I wanted to scream "why aren't you listening!" he was supposedly at the best hospital in five states. I had talked to my doctor earlier in the evening, and he told me that we had every right to see a Pulmonogist and he gave my mom and I permission to throw a fit to make it happen. So that was my plan for the next day. I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't until Gwyn rolled over and asked me to "hold her really tight" and then I did.

By the next morning Bob was exahasted. He had not slept a minute because he was going to make sure Gil was okay. When the Doctor Rawlings came back in for rounds he repeated what he said the night before, that he believed this to be unrealated to his fall and it was probably RSV. About that time a Nurse stepped in to tell him that his RSV test was negative. You see we had been complaining to the Nurses all night. We were begging to see at least a peditrician. They understood and were doing whatever they could to help us. At that point this Jack*^# of a doctor told Bob this had turned into a medical case not so much a surgical case anymore. Do you think? He told us the Pediatrician would be in touch with a soon. Poor Gil was SATing at 88 and he was up to 4 liters of oxygen.

Everyone was still trying to get us to get Gil to walk and he was struggling so hard to just breathe. PCH has wagons the kids can ride in, he loved rides but we woud try to get hin to walk five steps to get to it, the crying would start again. I sent Bob home to sleep and my mom and I got ready for a fight. Gwyn hung out until Aunt Kennan came and got her to play at her house. A pediatcian 1st year resident named Robyn came to see us. I spilled the WHOLE story. She actually listened to me. She listened to Gil. She was really upset that the surgeon had taken him off pain meds and antibiotics. She said that he was splintting when he tried to breathe, which meant he was HURTING! She put him right back on Morphine and sent the Pulmonolgist into us. Once the Morphine got into his blood stream his breathing lightened he started SATing at 95...I could breathe again. Once Dr. Kang (the pulmonolgist) came in he turned his O2 levels down to 1 liter again. He showed us the pictures that Dr. Rawlings had taken, he told us he had never seen such poor quality of work on his part. He had no idea what we were looking at, he didn't know why he hadn't taken culures of the mucus in his lungs. He was very dissapointed in Dr. Rawlings work.

He told us that Gil had a pulmonary contusion (bruised lung) and probably some kind of Aspiration that was to small to see with that particular surgery. He also told us his pneumonia needed to be treated with anti-biotics again. He was also concerned that Gil could have ruptured his esophogus from the fall. We needed to do a special test to see if that was a possiblity. We didn't even want to go down that road, but it was time to elimanate things. He talked about scoping his lungs again, but that he would do this time. Dr. Kang also told us to not to try to make him walk or do much of anything. He told us how much pain he must be in, and that he will walk when he is ready. Best thing anyone told us! Our poor Boy was in a CRAZY amount of pain, and to breathe he needed pain meds. They put him back on Lortab. This was his turning point. Bob came back. The boys and Papa Lyle came to see him. He was a MONSTER on Morphine. My poor boys were so worried again. He only wanted me and no one else could even pull the wagon when we went on rides. I have no pictures because I was laying by him and tending to him. Every time a nurse would come in he would say"No, I sleeping" He would close his eyes and hope they would go away. At this point he had not eaten anything since Monday afternoon. Brooke and Dustin brought him a hamburger for lunch per his request, but he never could eat it. He had many visitors that night. The good thing about being at that hospital was that all of our family was close by. Dr. Kang checked in be for he left. His upper GI was scheduled for the morning. Amber and Amber came to see him. I love them, thanks for coming. Uncle Brad and Aunt Vanessa came and Brad did the impossible. He got Gil to laugh. They started a game called puke ball that Gil found hysterical. Uncle Brad was my hero that night. Amber and Amber took me home to my parents that night and I slept better than I had in days... so did Bob.

By the next morning Gil was off of his oxygen and his x-rays looked better for the first time. He couldn't eat until he had his upper GI done...and that took awhile. It was a very invasive test. He was traumatized but we found out his espophagus was okay. He slept really hard when he got back, but we also learned a valuble lesson, he could not go that long with out pain meds. His Doctors came in and told us if he kept up like he was we could go home tomorrow. That evening he had a ton of visitors. Once his cousin Gage got there Gil decided he wanted to walk. We entered the Playroom and he was very shakily walking around the playroom. He and Gage played cars and I was like a shadow to my son. I was waiting for him to tip over. He played until his back hurt to much. We then headed back to the room for more meds. Our nurses were fantastic. They fixed him Ramen noodles at there desks, they got him what ever he wanted. He ate for real for the first time.

Nannie and Grandpa

Gwyn and my friend Steph's little girl Ally. This Play room was AWESOME. So many things for the kids to do.

Gilbert and Gage

One of the neat things about the hospital is that daily they bring in dogs for the kids to see. That was a highlight for Gil. Saturday morning Bob ordered Gil everything on the menu. Gil was eating and we were thrilled. The Doctors told us we could go home today. We needed to stay in the area for 24 hours but then we could head home. We were THRILLED! He would stay on pain meds and antibiotics and limited activity for at least a week. We needed to see our Dr. on Monday and make sure his lungs were healing. They want to see an x-ray of his lungs in 3 months. We loaded up and headed home to Nannie's. As we pulled up to my mom and dad's the kids were out waiting for him. Gwyn was coming up the rockstairs in their back yard when she slipped and split her chin open. I could not believe it, we had just left the hospital and we were going to have to head back. Thank goodness my parents neighbor was our pediatrian growing up and that he just came over and glued it for us. After all the drama was over, Bob looked at me and said, "I need a dark room where I can cry" At that moment he started tearing up. I sent him down to bed and gave our boy a good bath with no IV's and he enjoyed it so much. Nannie had a pack of chubby CARS (from the movie Cars) and he was in heaven. Since then the Cars never leaves his sight. We watch the movie 4 times a day now.

We saw our Doctor on Monday and he told us the Gil sounded great. He also told us that he counted Gil as a miracle, which we all agreed with. Gil has good days and bad days. His back bothers him a lot. He still has to take his Lortab, and it breaks our heart to see him move wrong and to see him grimace in pain. No one knows how long he will hurt but the Doctors tell us it could be awhile before he is back to his normal activity.

I feel like I have new eyes. My heart is so full. We came home to a clean house (thanks Farmgirl ) and our house stocked with food (thanks Anne). I have to thank all of our friends who brought us food, finished the CDs, and called Farmgirl for updates. My mom told me on the second night of Gils accident that she understood why we don't want to leave here. We are so taken care of here. This is our home and these people are our family. I have never felt so much love.

It is hard for me to be away from Gil now. When he sleeps I want to watch. I can't believe he is alright. He seems to know it too. He tells us he loves all the time. His hugs are more frequent, and his smiles mean so much to us. I feel like you do when you brought your very first baby home. That unquenchable desire to be near them. I want all of my children by me. I don't want to take any of it for granted. I feel a bit reclusive and selfish with my time with my kids. It is so easy to get caught up in the schedules of everyday. Bob and I have talked how fortunate we are. We have heard so many stories where the story didn't end like ours. We are so sorry for those families. Our heart breaks for them. I would like to think it was about us, but truly Gilbert has his own mission, his own plan. We just get to be here for the ride. I am okay with that. We just want to be near him. So that is the story of Gilbert's very scary fall. I can't say it was a bad week, when we were so blessed have it all turn out so well. We are just so grateful. Thank you!