Weepy...

I have been a bit weepy the last week , so bear with me as I use this blog as a journal.....

I have thought a lot about conference last weekend and some of the talks that have really stuck with me. I loved Elder Oaks talk on choosing, the good, the better, and the best ways to spend our time and energy. I really needed to hear that in my life right now. I am pretty sure he had me in mind when he wrote it. I also needed and loved the talk on service, I only heard it on the radio so I am not sure who it was. He spoke of his mother dying and her only regret was not serving more. I have trouble serving like I would really like too. I get lazy and think I'll do it later and then it never gets done, or that would put me out to much, Gil would miss a nap. Why am I like this, my mother did not raise me to be like that. She is the type to pull her sleeves up and dig in to the muck of anything. I can and will do more.

So, after a great weekend spent hearing the words from our beloved church leaders, I prepared to have this little surgery on Monday. My mom and Bob were amazing. My mom, who is always a wonder to me, used her 8 arms to clean my house, care for the children, fix lunches and snacks all day long, make three different sets of curtains for my house, care for me, and still get some shopping in. Who created this woman?

I have wonderful friends who brought meals and treats to me and came to visit while I was laying flat in bed. I was feeling hugely emotional for all the service that has been render to me. My mom treats it like nothing but I know that she has MANY obligations else where, and Bob has been so sweet and taking extra special care of the children while I am not fully better (you know: extra cuddles and wrestles, baths, and stories.) All I can say is a great big huge THANK YOU. Service has been thrown on me abundantly, much more than I deserve.

So these are some of the reasons I feel so weepy. Then there is the spending money issue. It is no secret that I love to spend money on Gwynnie's clothes, my boys too, but Gwyn is my Achilles heel. I love to shop for anything that has to do with her. I read Sarah's Blog and fully understood what she was saying about living in a very affluent area where families have so much and I have to remind my self that, that is not what it is all about. It's not so much as "keeping up with the Jone's", but that it is so easy to get sucked in to all that EVERYONE has, that "of course you should have it too." It is a battle, a lame battle, but still a battle.

So in the midst of my realizations and battles I find Alisa Blog, who really is fighting a battle. So after Amberly shows me this blog Saturday night I read it before church Sunday Morning. (Our good friend Amber Young is good friends with this girl and has served her so lovingly. If you get a chance you really should read her blog). I am sobbing at my computer thinking how much more I need to serve, serve my children, my family, and my neighbors. I am so blessed to be healthy, I have healthy beautiful children and an adoring husband who loves ME. I am blessed with a wonderful home and a husband who supports us comfortably. My problems for the moment feel minuscule.

Two hours later in sacrament the bishop tells us that our ward will be split next week, (our ward is huge and everyone knew it was coming). In his Testimony he talked about being fine with 1100 members in our ward, and I am thinking, "me too, the more the merrier". I feel weepy because I love my ward and my friends. I know that we will still be friends, but I feel like a ward is a type of family and that it is important to make your new ward your family. Change is coming and change is hard.

So this is where I stand, tears for gratitude, tears of joy, and tears of sadness. I have enough, I hope to get my priorities straighter, and use my time to the BEST of my ability. I use this little blog to journal those spiritual blessing that Elder Eyring spoke of. In an everyday life when sometimes I take my children and husband for granted, I need to realize the precious gifts I have been given, and love them to the best of my ability. (I promise my next blog will be a little lighter.)