Baby Boy

Any questions?

I didn't think so!

While we were sitting at my sixteen week appointment, my mom and Bob were both with me. I had a moment of fear right before the U/S tech started the ultra sound. Gwyn truly had been praying for a baby sister for at least a year. Everyone (including myself) would try to help her understand that this might be a brother. About a week before we found out Bob told me that he thought that we were wrong to try and prepare her for a brother. Why wouldn't Heavenly Father bless her with her hearts desire? We should believe in miracles.

He was right.

With all that I still had fear.

I am not the mom that KNOWS what she is having.

I never know.

(Except with Tucker and that was only 2 weeks before his ultra sound.)

I didn't have a feeling either way.

I hoped Gwyn would get her sister.

The nurses and Doctor were joking that this is when my daughter would lose her testimony....We all laughed but inside I was freaking out worried.

On the other hand I had Gil. He kept insisting that this was his brother.

When the U/S tech found the spot we were looking for we ALL saw that this was clearly Gil's brother. I said it was a boy first, and it was like breaking the ice, after that everyone could say it out loud. I looked over to Bob and he was tearing up. Some how he always reaches the emotional steps before I do. I wasn't sad, I just had knowledge now.

We left and my mom and I headed to Target to find some kind of surprise for my sweet girl. How on earth could I tell her this?

I took her out of pre-school early and put her on my lap in the car. My mom sat next to us. I then pulled out a necklace and my mom pulled out a crown as I started crying through some explanation of how she was going to be the only princess. When I say I was crying, I mean tears streaming down my face. She looked at me very sweetly and told me "It's okay mom I just looove babies". She hugged me and said "why are you crying?"

What do you say to that?

We got home and Gwyn ran into tell Gil and her Aunt and cousins. Gil was just happy as can be with the information. We got the boys from school early and Gwyn got to tell them that is was a brother and Abe was pretty bummed out. After about an hour it was old news and they were all off and playing.

When Bob got home that afternoon, I told him I was going to lay down for awhile. He came in a few minutes later and sat down against the wall as I cried a few tears.

* I need a disclaimer here and say that I am already so in love with this little baby boy growing in me!

We talked for sometime. You know, about the things you are embarrassed to actually admit. I cried for the loss of daughter I won't be raising, the loss of a sister Gwyn will not have.

Bob teared up over the fact he can only make boys:)

I mean really, it's not like he has real control over that.

We cried for Gwyn.

About this time Gil wandered into see what was going on, and I flippantly asked him how he knew it was a brother. He answered very seriously, "Because I know'd him from my memory, I dreamed about him." Bob asked him "well what's his name then?" Gil bear said "I don't know, but I like him." He then got up and bounced away. To say that I was blown away is a small thing.

It was just what we needed.

Bob looked at me and said " I guess it was Gil who needed the buddy not Gwyn." Heavenly Father has a plan and we do not know all. Gil knew something about it though.

After that we started to talk about THIS baby.

Him.

Our new son.

How much fun it was going to be and how excited we really are.

Gil has had some very interesting things to say about this baby. He is very interested in him. When I was getting ready to go on my trip with Gwyn, up to my mom's for Paige's shower, Gil was sad he wasn't going. I told him he got to hang out with just the boys. He quickly responded "well mom, your gonna have to leave the baby then." I told him that this little guy was stuck with me until he was big enough to come out. He told me" Just go to the doctor and take him out for a little while."

He rubs and loves my tummy all the time and tells me "I love that baby in your tummy"

Who knew?

He is only 3 years old.

He also tells us of his plans to protect him from mean kids.

He can't wait to be able to share a room with him.

He is heart broken Gwyn gets to sit by him in the car.

The big boys are even volunteering to change diapers. Tucker told us today that after all the time Gwyn and Gil are getting with the baby that he won't get any time with him.

This baby is not loved.

Not at all.

I have had so many experiences the last little while. I have so many friends from my youth who have had very sad things happen with their babies that I feel almost embarrassed to be writing these things down. How silly to be upset that he isn't a girl. We are so blessed.

I had my 20 week U/S on Friday and our little sugar baby looks PERFECT. 10 fingers, 10 toes and every organ he needs. It made my whole day wonderful. I was just giddy over the news. I took Gwyn so that she could see this baby. She was more concerned if what they were doing hurt me.

She is excited.

She still wants a sister.

She has asked me why Heavenly father didn't answer her "lovely" prayers for a sister.

What do you say to that?

I have never ever considered 6 children.

I have let that thought have a little space in my head.

Bob said it makes him want to puke.

I don't know.

My body suffers.

My varicose veins have come back.

Bob provides for our needs but money is tight.

We would need a new car.

We would need a new house.

We really love each other.

We have really GOOD kids.

This is what we do....

Parent and have kids.

It's our hobby.

We are a great team.

Our kids mean everything to us.

I guess in the end we will play it "one child at a time."

We will see what our Heavenly Father has in store for us.

I am not committed either way....

All I can say is that we are sure excited about this one.

p.s. We are looking for name suggestions......anyone want to help us out?