Jobless.....

When you hear that word doesn't it just make you sad? I makes me sad. It makes me sad now that it is our reality. Last Wednesday just before he came home from work, Bob's boss came into talk about a project that they were working on. When the conversation was finishing the boss dropped the news that he would be letting Bob go in a couple of weeks. He told him that if it weren't so slow they would not be letting him go but with the economy......He also said some things to him that I just want to kick his boss in the teeth for, but what can you do? Engineers for the most part, aren't always known to have a lot of social/personal skills. I think that when you are telling someone that you are taking their lively hood away, and aren't giving you any kind of severance package, or health insurance, and good luck taking care of your wife, four kids, and mortgage.......you might feel a little shitty about it. (excuse the language...but only kind of excuse it) I feel bad for the boss/owner but really I just feel bad for us.

*Bear with me while I vent for a moment....What is with companies that beg for your loyalty, and want things to feel like a family, when in the end they will kick you to the curb without much thought? What is with co-workers who are your friends that KNOW you are going to be let go and don't give you any warning. How about a little "things aren't looking good, maybe you should be looking around." Nothing. Just acting really weird at the strange Christmas Party.....It's not like we didn't know that this was coming, we just didn't think it would be us first, or so soon.*

I do know that his boss is a good person, I know that the economy is terrible especially in our small town. I know that they would have kept my husband if things weren't slow. But nothing like being let go in the first round. It still makes me want to call up the boss and give him an earful of how wonderful my Bob is and what he is losing, but I know that would do nothing. I am just FIERCELY loyal, and I don't want to lose my house, my friends, my little life we have had so much fun building.

All of that being said, I have faith that the Lord is mindful of us. I also have total belief in Bob. He has taken care of me since I first let him into my life.... it started with him taking my broken watch and having it fixed when we first started to "hang out" and then was shortly followed by him calling Adam (old-boyfriend) and telling him to leave me alone. I know he will make sure we (our family) is taken care of. I hate to be the damsel in distress but with four kids they are MY job. We are looking at all possibilities. Going back to school may be one of them.

I can not thank the people in our lives enough that have been so supportive. We have had phone call after phone call from friends and family to let us know we are in their prayers. We have had treats and bread brought over from our friends. We have had some very generous offers made to us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We love you all so much. The thing about living away from family is that your friends become your family. We have "Our Peeps" that we know we can always count on. Who will help in a seconds notice. I really will be sad if we have to leave you. You are family to us. I know we are not in this boat alone. I am sorry to my friends who sit right along side of us, my heart goes out to you....

One of the hardest things about this situation is having to tell your kids. Our two oldest boys cried and cried. Abe kept saying "I don't want to have to leave Braden (his best buddy), and I am the top of my class we can't move". Tucker hasn't been able to sleep well since we told him. I probably shouldn't have let them see Kit Kitteridge.....they are certain it's going to be just like that movie. In the end we convinced them that they had no worries, that we would continue to be the parents and they are the kids and should just be the kids and let us worry. Those words seemed to help.

We are trying to see this as an opportunity rather than devastation. Bob has never been that happy in Engineering so this is the time to decide where he will be most happy. We will get through this. We are so grateful for our beautiful, healthy, loving children. We know we are blessed. We love each other, and we really pull together when things get rough. We are good like that. I feel so humbled. I am willing to do whatever it takes. I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that this is a short time in our lives and we must make the most of this situation. I fight the urge to just stay in bed in the morning and just read a book....I am fighting off the depression. I am grateful for my children who help me, I am mostly grateful for my AWESOME husband who is a worker who is not afraid to get his hands dirty.....who comes from working stock. I am trying to count my blessings people!

I hope we don't lose our house. It's not like we live in anything grand....it's just a simple home. But it's our home. I would love to stay here but the more I think about it I don't know how that can happen. I hate to move my kids, but I have been thinking about when I was a child and my parents moved us (many times) I never really minded. I was just happy to be together. My mom always made our homes comfortable, I never knew we were struggling. I never knew when we were wealthy. I just knew my parents loved me and that we were okay. I am trying to let go....this house and all that encompasses that are just things and that is not what's important. It's about my family.
So there it is people, the good, the bad, and the ugly.....how's that for real life!